The Infamous Beer Bottle Battle of Elandipole IV

Posted on Sep 18, 2015 @ 1:54am by Captain Kassandra Thytos
Edited on on Sep 18, 2015 @ 1:54am

Mission: Civil War

"The Infamous Beer Bottle Battle Of Elandipole IV"

(Cont. "Limits")

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Party Foul n.:

1. An action committed by an individual, either on purpose or not, that goes against the feel of the party or bar atmosphere.
2. To spill an alcoholic drink.


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Location: Elandipole IV

Stardate:2.15.0917.2130

Scene: Colony Island


Self-segregation and cliques naturally formed onboard Starships, especially large ones. Division into departments on different decks of the ship was the first major driver. People with similar interests and sensibilities naturally found themselves drawn to the same types of jobs. When you spent most of your day around people who liked the same things as you, who were generally of the same mindset as you, you naturally became friendly with them at a higher rate than all the other people that you might only see in passing or during your off hours. Even when you were off duty, you already knew the people you worked with, and it seemed easier to just spend your free time with them. This phenomena was playing out in a textbook manner on Elandipole IV, even with nearly all the ship on the same small island, they’d assorted into clumps by department.

The coastline near the settlement was carved into a bay dotted with white sand atolls, a couple hundred square feet at their largest. The operations officers were busy around the mouth of the bay talking to colonists who were putting up small docks for an eventual fleet of small boats, and assisting in organizing the colonists and helping to plan the most efficient layout for the buildings.

The scientists were in the water and woods in little clumps around the settlement eagerly categorizing new species of flora and fauna, and analyzing them for potential hazards or uses for the now colonists. Petty Officer Bryson Monteleone and Crewman Tazell Lau were busy wandering the beach, assembling a collection of shells of mollusk-like creatures, while Kate Sarsfield and Niels Oliver caught a variety of the creatures living in the water in the shallow waters between the shore and one of the two largest islands in the bay. Periodically, Kate would bring a trap full of creatures she’d deemed fit for consumption up to the island, and give it to the Marines who lounged there.

The Marines had set up a few sun shades and had a rather impressive bonfire going. When Kate and Niels brought them the traps they’d expertly dispatch and clean the creatures, and skewer them on one of the sticks that Pia had sharpened. Massimo, the self appointed grill master would then grill them over the fire, and the creature would be divided up among the Marines, and a general consensus on the palatability of the food would be relayed back to the two scientists. The choicest of morsels were shared with the two scientists by Stacy, who flirted outrageously with the timid and oblivious Neils. The Marines had chosen this island in order to distance themselves from the colonists, since the sentiment among the nine of them was that it was likely that more than a few of the colonists might hold a grudge against the Marines due to their role in the riots. The flight control officers, all one of them, had joined the Marines on their island, largely due to the promise of a share of the stockpile of beer that they had promised him if he helped taste the scientists’ finds.

A couple hundred feet away, the engineers of the ship had taken up residence on the largest of the islands, which came complete with a small copse of several species of trees so covered in blossoms, pastel leaves, or fluffy feather duster fruit that they looked like mounds of cotton candy. Above the trees brightwings circled, their iridescent tail feathers casting rainbows across the sands as the flew, occasionally coming to rest momentarily on the branches of the trees. In the understory, the engineers had slung hammocks and improvised chairs and swings, and many of them dozed as they swayed in the gentle breeze that blew off the ocean.

All in all, it was a relaxing change of pace for the overworked crew of the Phoenix, but on the far side of the engineers’ island, trouble was brewing…

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Scene: Engineers’ Island

Cindy was half dozing in her hammock when she was woken by her name being called. Letting loose a muffled grumble of discontentment to herself in French, the red-headed engineer lifted up the brim of the floppy brimmed hat she’d replicated just for the beach, and looked quizzically in the direction of the voice that had called her name.

“Hey, hey, Cindy! Come over here, wanna see me win a bet with Rebecca?” Ricky Chen’s dark eyes were sparkling with mischief, and he was standing next to a rather large construction of wood and vines that he’d made. She smiled back involuntarily. Ricky Chen was one of the exceptions to the fairly serious and slightly socially awkward group that made up the engineering department. He had a well developed sense of fun, and went out of his way to make friends with everyone he worked with. Some of the more serious engineers like Maynell had taken a very long time to learn to tolerate Ricky Chen’s lackadaisical and whimsical approach to engineering. She’d once seen him nearly reduced to an apoplectic fit when Ricky and he had been working on a particularly tricky antimatter relay alignment and synch and Ricky had begun to sing a song that he had made up to help them remember the complicated steps necessary to complete the procedure. For her part, Cindy liked Ricky, despite his overly familiar attitude. He reminded her of a dog she’d had growing up as a child. Eager to please, friendly, and just generally good natured. So Cindy pulled herself up to standing and walked over to stand next to the structure and looked at it up and down.

“What is it?” She wrinkled her nose, and shaded her eyes as she looked up and down the wooden structure, quizzically. “What bet?”

“Trebuchet,” Rebecca said, her arms crossed, sounding singularly unimpressed. Cindy felt a pang of sympathy for poor Ricky, he’d been trying his hardest to impress Rebecca ever since he came on board, but Rebecca was having none of it. Cindy almost wondered if Rebecca did it on purpose in order to force Ricky to try ever harder to win her attention. “He’s bet me that he can use that thing to hit that brightwing that’s sitting up there on the top of that tree. I told him it’s not that accurate, and medieval to boot. Plus it looks like it will fall apart at any moment.”

“It’s secure. I used to make these all the time when I was a kid. Put this in the sling.” Ricky handed Cindy a clear pearlescent object with a jiggly texture.

“What is it?” Cindy asked curiously, looking at the object before putting it in the sling.

“It’s a flotation bladder from one of the aquatic plants. They break when you hit something, splash water everywhere,” Rebecca explained, sounding a little bored. “Well, come on then Ricky! Do it if you’re going to do it.”

Ricky grinned and pulled the pin on his trebuchet. The heavy rock section swung down and the sling spooled out. But instead of releasing, it stuck, and the vine he had used as the cord was elastic enough that it came sling-shotting back at them. Cindy ducked, and she heard Ricky swearing, and scuttling off. There was a sudden yell of annoyance, from behind her, and the sound of something breaking.

Cindy turned around to see what had happened and froze.

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Scene: Marines’ Island

Winnifred Nguyen hadn't been on a planet in years, not since she had last been deployed as a Marine. The sensations were nearly overwhelming, it was like coming out of a sensory deprivation chamber.

A ship or a space station, even one such as Limbo, was sterile, lacking in sensory stimulus compared to a planet: The air was never too cold, nor too hot, the light was always just so, there were never drafts of air to tickle your skin. Smells were scrubbed from the air, and when there were smells, they tended to be a uniform blanket, inescapable and unchanging, and all the small sounds, the little noises that made up life were hidden under the hum of the engine and the energy conduits of the ship. Everything was orderly, every day exactly the same as far as your environment went. No seasons, no changing of day into night, no rain, no clouds, no character.

Winnifred dug her toes into the the warm sand reveling in the lapping of the water at her feet, the taste and feel of salt and sand on her lips, and the universal briny scent of the ocean mixed with the wafting scent of smoke and cooking meat.

Pia and Massimo were grilling the food that the Scientists had been plying them with on the center of the spit of sand, oblivious to the beauty around them. Pia had her usual serious expression, and was subtly but inexorably curbing and directing the energies of Massimo, her constant companion. Massimo seemed to be having fun anyway. He was the sort of person who thrived on variety and novelty. He didn’t seem to mind trying what the pretty science officer Kate brought for them to test, even when it tasted categorically awful, had a weird texture, or both at once. The only time he’d balked was with the strange tentacled thing that had continued moving and squirming even long after it was unequivocally roasted to a cinder. Even then, he’d managed to choke down a mouthful of squirming bits and washed it down with a swig of the beer the two scientists had bribed them with for their assistance, though he’d looked a bit green for a little while after.

“Penny for your thoughts, Win-Win?” The twangy voice of her Commanding Officer came from behind her causing her to jump a bit. She spun around and began to salute. The shorter woman waved her off with one hand and took a drag from her cigarette, and gestured to her off duty clothes. “Relax, I ain’t in uniform, no need to get all formal, though don’t get so familiar you call me Kass. Cap’n Thytos or Sir’ll do.”

“Yes sir. Thinking planet-side nice. Different from ship. Also glad not working. Too much work, Winnifred dull girl.” Winnifred appreciated the fact that Kassandra didn’t automatically assume that she was dull or shallow as many did because of her accent. Most people heard the choppy way that Winnifred spoke and assumed she was more than a bit slow. Kassandra had likely faced the same stereotypes due to her thick accent, and didn’t bring the same prejudice to the table. She eyed the older woman, she didn’t know her very well, having only been working for her her for a matter of weeks, but Kassandra looked particularly tired, cranky, frustrated, and keyed up. In other words, a woman who really really needed a drink. “Beer. Lots. Scientists bribed to try weird critters. Traded holodeck time. Used up luxury replicator credits.”

“Beer? Have I told y’all you’re my most favorite Marines I’ve ever had?” The MCO brightened up and looked very nearly cheerful. The lights under her skin sparkled slightly more as she ‘looked’ around for the aforementioned beverage. She trotted over to the large bucket perched on one of the rocks near the shore, and was just about to reach out to grab one of the bottles when out of nowhere something came flying out of the sky, struck the container, and exploded in a spray of water. Kassandra threw her hands up over her face, and then gave a cry of dismay as she realized that the impact had thrown the bucket off balance. She launched herself towards the bucket too late, and there was the sound of breaking containers. All the Marines turned to look at their commanding officer, who stood in the wreckage soaked with a combination of saltwater and beer, her cigarette damp and bent in half, an expression as though she’d just stepped in warm dog shit on her face. For a moment seemed to Winnifred that the older woman wilted in defeat, but then the MCO’s sensor nets flared into life like spastic fireflies, looking for the culprits. With an indignant and imperious finger she pointed towards the large island across the way with the little grove of twee, precious, pastel trees. “Right, next time I kill her, she’s stayin’ dead. But I get the hint universe. I’m goin’ back up to the goddamn ship and going to sleep so this waste of a goddamn day just ends.” The small red-head growled under her breath, and then glowered at her Marines in misplaced rage. “Right, you lot. I’m gonna go, but don’t go overboard - I’ve changed my mind. PT 0600, we’re running around the damn island, and then a six mile swim!”

The MCO slapped her communicator, and vanished in an angry fizzle of transporter energy.

The remaining Marines bemoaned the loss of their libations and the sudden imposition of morning PT, and grumbled at the group of engineers across the water. Suddenly Massimo let out a giant crow and dove into a bag he had nearby.

“See Kuenzi!” He grinned broadly and brandished a couple large water guns. “I told you that these would come in useful!”

“Oh. Oh no. Massimo…” Pia said with a sigh, striking her forehead with the palm of her hand. Massimo was unfazed. “You aren’t…”

Massimo tossed one of the large water guns to Winnifred, and grinned excitedly as he waded into the waves to collect a few of the pearlescent plant floats that had been used to such effect by the Engineers and place them into bags. Winnifred eyed the toy dubiously, unsure what the man intended for her to do with it, and rather put out and disappointed by the ignominious end the beer had come to.

“Marines! We must avenge our beer, and take Engineer Island!” Massimo said with a devilish twinkle in his eye. He grabbed one of the skewers from beside the fire pit, smoothed a spot on the sand, and began to draw his battle plans.

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Scene: Engineers’ Island

“OhmygodIwassureweweresodead!” Ricky said wide-eyed, as he peeked out from his hiding place behind a bush. He was shaking. “That woman is so dang scary, did you see the look on her face? Hundreds of feet away and I could still tell murder was on her mind, if looks could kill we’d have be toast!”

“I don’t think she’d hurt us. I mean, I think she’s scared of the Captain, right? You saw her in Engineering when she was screaming at Jake and the giant guy that even she should be terrified of but apparently isn’t? She got to the Captain and just was as quiet as a mouse. I wonder what the Captain has on her. Do you think we should be scared of the Captain?” Rebecca’s eyes were large, her lips slightly parted, and Ricky felt a moment of embarrassment that he wouldn’t be able to say anything daring or dashing like ‘don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to you’ or ‘I can protect you from anything,’ or one of a million phrases that the dashing hero or heroine of his beloved holo-novels would utter before saving their love interest.

“I wouldn’t be, he’s a sensible man.” Cindy beat him to the punch, ever pragmatic and practical. He’d been scared of Cindy when he first met her, she was intimidatingly smart, pretty, and had a no-nonsense attitude that, coupled with her propensity for profanity made her seem a little cold. Couple that with the fact that she was a bit of a know-it-all who made everything seem so effortless, and there had been a good chunk of time when she arrived that he and the other enlisted crew had frankly hated her. As they got to know here those feelings had eased up a little bit, but at least once a week Cindy still ruffled a few feathers and caused a minor case of over-lunch trash talk from her underlings. Mostly though they respected her, even if everyone wasn’t totally in love with her as a person. “Though apparently not sensible enough to get rid of his rabid dog. She’s huffed off back the ship anyway, probably to drink, I understand that sort of unbecoming behavior is second nature to her, so you guys can relax. But if I were you, I’d work on perfecting my engineering projects before I test them out.” She teased Ricky to lighten the mood. Her joke fell flat, and Ricky just looked uncomfortable and embarrassed. “Tell you what, why don’t you find Arkady and sh’Kor and get a contest started. We can see who can design something to fling one of those things the furthest. In the direction they meant to go.”

Ricky brightened a bit, it was a good suggestion, and sounded like fun. Cindy retreated back to her hammock to continue her nap in the warm shade, and Rebecca offered to help him. Ricky felt a little better, though he wasn’t entirely sure whether or not Rebecca was doing it because she felt sorry for him. He took a quick glance at her as she stripped and wove the vines he’d used as part of the sling into a thicker, less bouncy braided strand, and wondered if this wouldn’t be the perfect time to make a move.

The sun was warm, the scent of the trees sweet without being overpowering, the sand was as white as you could possibly wish it, so perfect that it might have almost been a holo-program of what someone had decided was the epitome of the galaxy’s most perfect beach. Overhead the brightwings iridescent tail feathers cast little rainbows dancing on the sand, and in an hour or so, there would be a sunset, and the other planets of the Elandipole system would be visible as brilliant heavenly bodies in the sky.

In other words, it was just about the most romantic setting one could possibly ask for. Ricky leaned in towards Rebecca to say something romantic- maybe something about the way that her hair looked nice in the sunlight, or how he was jealous of the sun and the way it kissed her olive skin, or maybe how the brown of her eyes was the same color as… driftwood or something. Probably he should just go with the sun bit. He leaned in closer, about to say it, when she stood suddenly, her shoulder catching him on his chin and making him bite his tongue.

“Hey, do you see that? There’s something in the water.” She pointed at a shadowy shape moving close to shore.

“It’s probably just one of those kampos things,” Ricky stretched his arms and thought about casually letting the one closest to her drop around her shoulders.

“Too big to be one.” Rebecca stared at the object, tilting her head inquisitively. She moved forward just at the same moment as Ricky tried his luck slinging his arm around her. His hand slapped to his side in defeat.

“Maybe it’s a baby frill shark?” Ricky moved beside her again and stared at the thing in the water.

“Frill shark? Is it dangerous? Should we warn everyone out of the water?” Rebecca looked nervous and Ricky regretted suggesting something as distressing as that to her.

“Nah, it’s not that. Looks like seaweed-” Ricky back pedalled. Suddenly a piercing whistle split the air, and the shape in the water suddenly shed the coat of seaweed it was using to camouflage its shape, and revealed itself to be a small man of Asian descent, wielding a brightly colored weapon of some sort. Ricky vaguely remembered being introduced to the man, Joseph Massimo, his name was, and he was one of the Marines. The man gave him an impish grin, and then threw his head back.

“My name is PFC Massimo. You spilled my beer. Prepare to dry.” The man said with a chuckle, and sprayed the two of them with a cold, high power blast of water from the toy in his hand. Rebecca squealed in dismay, and made a beeline to the water as Massimo fired a few more blasts of water down her back. Ricky picked up and lobbed a few of the water sacs to visually impressive effect. Suddenly a tall woman with grey eyes appeared by his shoulder, and he found himself caught by the hands and feet by the woman and Massimo. The two of them dragged Ricky to the shore and began to swing him gently but with exuberance from side to side. The two men caught each others' eyes, and a sudden recognition of kinship flared between them. Ricky grinned widely.

“You know this is war,” Ricky said as they loosed his hands and feet sending him in a less than graceful arc towards the water. He splashed into the water and struggled back to the surface, blinking the salt water out of his eyes.

“I’m counting on it!” Massimo called out to him, waving cheerfully. “But for now, our beer is avenged, and your island is ours!”

“Hey, you can’t claim the island,” Ricky protested. The grey-eyed woman had come to stand next to Massimo, and she raised one hand to her mouth.

“We have a flag,” she said, her serious face suddenly dancing with amusement as she stabbed a thumb back at the Marine Corps flag that was now being hung from one of the trees. “Did you have a flag?”

“Fair enough,” Ricky called back, grinning wickedly. “Enjoy your island... for now!”

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Scene: The Marines’ protectorate of Engineer Island.

Dusk was just about hitting Elandipole, and PFC Massimo was getting bored. It had been nearly an hour since they’d kicked the engineers off of their island, and so far, nothing had happened. Massimo could barely contain his disappointment. He’d thought that he and the tall, skinny Chinese engineer had been on the same page as to how this was supposed to go. The Marines came, threw them in the water, took over the island, and then the engineers retaliated and tried to take the island back, the Marines would cede the island, not because the engineers could actually overwhelm the Marines, but because that’s how the game was played, and then the Marines would try another counterattack. Winnifred Nguyen dropped out of the canopy next to him, and surveyed the sea.

“Not coming?” She said in the short and to the point way she spoke. It was hard for Massimo to guess sentiment from her choppy two word phrase, but he fancied those two words were imbued with a heavy air of disappointment.

“Looks like it’s a no go. It’s a shame,” Pia said calmly, but Massimo knew she for sure was disappointed. Pia was a serious woman by nature, and she found it hard to cut loose and be silly. That’s where Massimo came in. He dragged her along with him into hijinks and ridiculous situations, and she pretended as though she was unwillingly along for the ride, meanwhile enjoying herself immensely, deriving vicarious pleasure from being involved in his silliness without having to instigate. For his part, he always knew that if he went too far Pia would be there at his back to bail him out of trouble or to shut the whole thing down.

People often misunderstood his and Pia’s relationship, often interpreting it as a romantic one, when in reality nothing could be further from either of their minds. They just *were.* When Pia wasn’t around, Massimo felt like he had a limb missing, or was half a person, but the idea of kissing her or being physically intimate was foreign and a bit repulsive. He just didn’t feel right unless she was in the background somewhere. That was always something that had caused them problems with significant others. At first their lovers would think it was cute how in-synch the two were, and then they’d become jealous, and then eventually they’d just leave because they felt left out of the special little something that the two had. It was a constant pattern, but neither could cut the cord, it would be too much like amputating a limb, but they held out hope that someday they’d find someone who’d understand and accept it.

Suddenly the air filled which the whooshing noise of projectiles filling the air, and suddenly out of the darkness water bombs began to fall. There was a yell, and one after one a small flotilla of rafts armed with slingshots and more of the water bombs were revealed as their torches were lit. The seven Marines ran squawking for cover under the onslaught. The assault stirred the brightwings from the trees and they rose shrieking over the island, shedding feathers and droppings as they made a hasty getaway.

The Marines lobbed their supplies of the water filled sacs back at the engineers until their supplies ran dry. One of the rafts came forward towards the shore and Ricky Chen alit.

“I think this Island is big enough for all of us, don’t you? How about we call a truce. We brought beer.” Ricky grinned at Massimo, who looked around at his fellow Marines. They nodded.

“Truce accepted,” Massimo said, shaking the engineer’s hand.

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NRPG: FLUFF. OFF DA HOOK


A post by:


Alix Fowler

As

Multiple personalities.