Reality slapped her in the face, and it slapped her hard

Posted on Jul 04, 2014 @ 3:35pm by Ambassador Xana Bonviva
Edited on on Jul 04, 2014 @ 3:42pm

Mission: The Tangled Webs We Weave
Location: Various

"Reality slapped her in the face, and it slapped her hard"



=/\=

Location: EARTH

Scene: Secretary Bonviva’s Office

SD: [2.14] 0618.1942

TI: After the kidnapping - a few days after the last post


Your children are safe and are being cared for. As long as you do as I say, they will remain that way until they are returned to you. You will take a leave of absence from your duties, sighting a much needed vacation. You will take a transport to Risa, and enjoy a very long vacation basking in the sun, or whatever you blue people do. You won't report this and you wont say anything to anyone. If you follow these instructions your kids will be just fine and will be returned to you or your spouse.

Ice cold. Her insides were ice cold.

Then Xana calmed herself, gripping the edges of her desk and breathing steadily in through her nose and out through her mouth as if she was on a tilt-a-whirl. This wasn’t the first attempt -- however crude -- on her children’s life. The Bolian/Human had once made a comment in the media years ago that angered some people; the next day Dahlia had received a doll with a bloody dagger through it that she stopped her daughter from opening. Two months ago a gift arrived for Ben; thankfully he never opened up the toy submarine that exploded.

It was a threat, she could deal with that. She just had to be that good woman here and see this through. See through this threat to her children. Her children were fine; looking over at the clock she reasoned that they’d be home now from school. At home with Security around them, only a small number of people allowed inside...

Then her staff came running in. The kidnappers might have wanted to keep it quiet; but she was the Secretary of Starfleet. There was no quiet.

“Ma’am!” John Hiram yelled as he burst in. “Your home Security team was just wounded. Your children--”

Her chief of staff kept talking, his words fading…

=/\=

Location: EARTH

Scene: Venice, Italy - Hospital

TI: 4 years ago

"Dahlia, this is your baby brother."

The little blue Bajoran girl sat up in her chair as her stepfather brought him over to her. "Support the head, " Jake explained as he gently placed the little boy in the girl's arms. Then Jake kneeled down to make sure his stepdaughter didn't need anything. The little girl held her brother protectively with little guidance from Jake.

"Why isn't Mommy getting up?"

Jake spared a glance for Xana, who was lying down in a nearby biobed, before turning back to the kids. "She's resting," he explained.

"Why?"

The little boy began to wiggle a bit, flummoxing his sister; so the engineer took over. Scooping up his son he rocked him for a bit, holding him the same way he held biopacks as he explained to the 5 year old, "Little Ben here was stubborn; guess he liked Mommy a lot but it was his time to leave. So they had to scoop him out. All that scooping made Mommy tired."

Dahlia giggled at that. "Jake! He's not ice cream!"

Jake smiled a bit at that, even if his insides were as cold as the fudge ripple that Dahlia liked. Never did he want to go through that again. Give him Jeffries Tubes and maintenance areas please and thank you; none of these hospitals with calm tones as they spoke about life and death in the same tones as what you wanted for lunch. After laboring for hours, Xana had to have surgery which did not go well. She still couldn't move without it causing major problems.

Benito wiggled again, this time trying to open his tired eyes. They were a cloudy gray but the rings around edges had Jake guessing they'd be changing color soon. "Bored with me already?" Jake asked wryly. His own emotions about fatherhood, and the son who had been placed in his arms, which had been precarious over these last few months were suddenly gone. "Want to go back to your big sister?"

"Yes!" At Dahlia's giggles, Jake placed the infant boy in his sister's arms. Taking his place by the little girl, Jake knelt down besides the girl and the two of them began to make plans for the baby. There were lots of hushed talks about toys to be procured, games that just had to be played, and treats to be devoured. All throughout Jake was mindful to support Ben, drinking in the sight of the son he was so fearful of having and now so fearful of losing, while making sure that Dahlia felt loved and not the least bit left out.

“Now remember, you’re the big sister,” Jake explained to Dahlia, “that’s a big job. Think you’re up to it? Think you can do all this -- look out for this little guy?”

“I can do it, Jake!” Dahlia beamed as she held onto her brother tightly.

Jake was wrong, Xana wasn't resting -- she watched this all silently from her hospital bed, a smile gracing her lips.

=/\=

Scene: Xana’s office

“--she has to resign. She’s the Secretary of Starfleet! She can order ships to find her children,” Dani Kincannon argued.

John had served with Dani for a long time. He knew she was playing Devil’s Advocate but that didn’t mean he appreciated it now. “She resigns, she gives them what they want,” he pointed out. “They want her out. What does this signal to the Federation’s enemies? Take our planets and we’re fine, but we draw the line at our Secretaries’ kids? No, she has to stay.”

“Look at her, she hasn’t said a word in minutes,” Dani hissed.

Xana slowly settled into the here and now. Shaking her head she whispered. “My husband. I have to call my husband.” Looking up she said, “I have to place a call to Jake.”

Dani and John’s eyes widened but they said nothing. Nodding they left the room to Xana and Angus who shifted a bit to rest his head on her lap. “Secretary of Starfleet to the Commander Jacob Crichton, CEO, USS DISCOVERY.”

It was a blatant misuse of her office to call her husband, using her codes, to bypass all protocol.

She didn’t care. She had to reach him. She was desperate to reach him. She had to find Jake, tell him to come home. She wasn’t asking this time, she had to have him home. This wasn’t for her, or even for him, this was for Dahlia and Benito.

**What guarantees can I make? Yes. Something might happen to me out there. But you think I don’t worry about what might happen to you? For god’s sake, Xana, you’re a high-ranking Federation official. You think you don’t have a target painted on *your* back? That the enemies of the Federation wouldn’t jump at the chance to ransom you off, or worse…**

Jake’s words from the last time he was home haunted her. “Oh Gods, Jake, forgive me,” she murmured as the computer beeped while it struggled to make a connection.

[[Unable to make connection. The officer you are looking for is no longer on the USS DISCOVERY.]]

“Excuse me?” Xana asked the computer. Raggedly her breath came out as she asked, “Computer, status of Commander Jacob Crichton.”

[[Commander Jacob Crichton is officially listed as missing in action as of Stardate [2.14]0610.0015. His last known whereabouts were--]]

The computer droned on but Xana faded out.

=/\=

LOCATION: GATEWAY Station-2

SCENE: Promenade

TI: 5 years ago

Xana found herself standing on the familiar GATEWAY Promenade. It was on the highest tier, with a breathtaking view of the Promenade below on one side, and large windows that offered an even more breathtaking view of the stars on the other. She realized with a start that this was a spot where she and Jake had shared many tender moments in the past few months.

Of course, she almost didn't recognize it, because it was now lined with hundreds of candles. Looking around, she realized that some of the candles appeared to be suspended in the air around her, giving the effect that she was standing in the middle of a spiral galaxy.

Turning her head, she saw a figure standing at one end of the walkway. Jake Crichton stood there, dressed in his Starfleet formal attire, smiling at her in a way that melted all her annoyance and confusion and filled her with warmth. She felt like she was in a dream as Jake came to a stop before her, taking her hand gently in his, and slowly went down on bended knee.

"Oh gods," she squeaked.

"Xana Bonviva," Jake said, his cool blue eyes staring up into hers, "..you are the center of my universe. You're the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing I think of when I fall asleep."

"Jake..." Xana said.

"I would trade all the wonders the galaxy has to offer for the chance to look into your eyes every day," Jake said. "You're all the adventure I'll ever need. I love you with body and soul."

Xana realized she was holding her breath.

"Xana Bonviva," Jake Crichton said, "will you marry me?"

He knew her, she realized. It had started out with a few friendly conversations when she was married all those years ago. And then over a year ago they were intimately bonded – she saved him and then he saved her and her daughter. Two souls connected in a way that they hadn’t known they needed. They saw the destruction of their lives together, of their existences and that of their future children, and even after pushing themselves apart they realized they could do without so much but not without each other. And then when their psychic connection broke apart, they fought for their love – to prove it hadn’t been just a fluke but something real and enduring.

He knew her. He knew everything about her and yet…as she looked at him she realized he didn’t know the answer to the most important question they faced.

Dropping her cane, Xana slipped to the floor. Even as he held her hand, Jake wrapped an arm around her to guide her, although the puzzlement was clear. Once she was kneeling too she whispered, “I’d follow you to all ends of the galaxy. I’ll follow you from this life into the next life. Before you even have to ask, if I can do it I will because it’s you. Going down on the floor to meet you seemed to be the least I could do.” Smiling broadly she cupped his handsome jaw in her smooth cool hand, “Yes I’ll marry you.”

=/\=

Scene: Xana’s office -> Corridor

TI: Now

She snapped out of her memories and stood up. Looking around in her desk she found her old phaser in the bottom drawer, strapped it onto her thigh, and settled her dress to where it was supposed to be.

Then she began to run.

She moved out of her office, past her questioning staff with only Angus able to keep up. He hadn’t had to do this in years; neither had she but both of them settled into a pattern as if they were merged; the blue woman with long white hair flying past her and the black and tan dog galloping next to her. They were silent in their swift pursuit of their target, only her heels and his nails making clicking sounds on the tiles of the polished floors of the government building.

If the officers and politicians thought it odd to see the Secretary of Starfleet running down the corridor in a red dress they said nothing about it to her, but simply stood aside as she and her dog made way. In fact the only one who stood in front of her was an Andorian Secretary.

“Stop!” Thoris P’Trell yelled as he held up his hands. Used to Xana and Angus, he grabbed a small piece of jerky from his tunic and threw that to the dog who easily caught that in his mouth. Grabbing his friend by her forearms he yelled again, “Xana! Stop!”

“No,” she replied, shaking her head. Shaking her head she said, “No. I have to--”

John Hiram had hurriedly called Thoris P’Trell’s office in a desperate attempt to find his boss. P’Trell knew what Xana would do and was thankful he found her first. “You can’t do it. No matter how much you want to--”

“I’m going to--”

“Don’t say it,” Thoris warned her. Hauling her into an alcove he said, “This is still Paris and there are still ears everywhere. Don’t say it.” While her violet eyes were wild and nostrils flared the Andorian Secretary said, “We are not like this. We do not take vengeance into our hands.”

“I don’t have anything else, Thoris,” she murmured. As her throat worked she admitted quietly while leaning on a cool dark wall, “I don’t have anyone else.”

“You have the law, use it,” her Andorian friend counseled.

=/\=

Scene: Office of the President -> Corridor

“Mr. President, I need to submit a request for a leave of absence,” Xana said softly to the Talaxian President of the Federation.

“I understand,” he said softly. “I’ve heard about what’s happened.” Looking over at the Vice President he asked, “So what do you think we should do next?”

“Well we promote Admiral Edgerton, as temporary Secretary of Starfleet,” Vice President Langor explained.

Behind Xana was Admiral Richard Edgerton and Thoris P’Trell; it was the Andorian who stepped up first, “Actually, sir, with all due respect that cannot happen. Per the Federation Constitution, as well as numerous other rulings from the bench and the Federation Council acts, the Secretary of Starfleet cannot be someone who is currently serving in the Fleet or someone who has served within the last 7 years. As obviously *Fleet Admiral* Edgerton is still serving, he cannot be Secretary of Starfleet.”

President Moray smiled at his Vice President, “He is right, Jori.” Looking over at Edgerton he said, “I appreciate your dedication, and clearly Langor thinks highly of you, but rule of law is rule of law.”

“Of course, sir,” Edgerton replied with a thin smile. “Just happy to serve the Federation.”

“Don’t worry,” Moray smiled, “I’ll appoint someone else highly capable, just not as good as our dear Xana until she’s ready to return.”

=/\=

Scene: Bonviva Villa

“Ma’am? Will you be ok?” John Hiram asked as he guided Xana Bonviva home.

She wove on the cobblestones outside her house as if she had downed a bottle of sambuca, except all she had today was tea. “I’m fine, John. Really, this goes above and beyond the pale of duty.”

John Hiram smiled at that but kept guiding his boss home, while Angus walked next to them. She wasn’t herself, in anyway shape or form. She hadn’t cried yet, or screamed or yelled, or reacted in a way that they expected; instead she kept fading out as if she was going to collapse but then she’d snap to it and be focused.

John worried when Xana snapped to it and realized that her children were kidnapped and her husband was MIA, and statistically speaking was probably KIA.

Instead she lead John inside and said, “John, I need to do the right thing. I need to keep up a front. It is,” she paused for a moment as she sank onto a long deep sofa, “the only chance my children have. I’m sorry to ask this of you but...can you get some messages out for me?”

John Hiram nodded. “Where am I going?”

“The first is easy,” Xana admitted. “I need you to go to New York City and meet a woman, give her a message. The second, I’m not sure where you’ll be going, but you’ll know it when you see it.”

“That’s not helpful,” John pointed out. “Who am I contacting? Can you tell me that?”

“Your predecessor.”

=/\=

Scene: New York City - Carnegie Hall -> Serendipity 3

John stood backstage at Carnegie Hall. The woman giving the concert was a gloriously beautiful golden-green woman with striking long black hair, giving a fabulous performance that involved twirling in the air, pyrotechnics and a stunningly achingly beautiful piano performance.

When she came from the stage Amaryllis Nixa-Layne puzzled to see the man in the suit looking at her as if he should be there. “Do I know you?” she asked, her hands on her hips.

“No,” he admitted. “I work for Xana Bonviva. She asked me to come.” When that didn’t seem to move her, and he realized it wouldn’t, he handed the first of two isolinear chips. Amaryllis went over to her computer and put that into listen to a message from her honorary aunt asking her nicely to listen to the man there.

“Give me five minutes,” Amaryllis said.

John nodded and stepped out of the crowded dressing room to give the woman her privacy. He watched with interest the crowded scene behind stage, a world foreign to him yet intriguing in its bustling and drama in its own right.

“Ready,” the golden-green woman said.

John turned to see the performer had wiped off the dramatic makeup so that she simply sparkled due to genetics, and her hair was now up in a ponytail. Her outlandish corset, fishnet stockings and shredded skirt were all exchanged for a simple white t-shirt and jean shorts speaking more to the Kentucky roots she was adopted into.

“Let’s go,” John explained.

The walk in New York was different Amaryllis realized than most cities. New Yorkers really didn’t care about her, she realized. There were too many famous people here, and the rest of the civilian populace was inoculated to her popularity.

It was freeing.

So Amaryllis was free to listen, free to listen to the serious man next to her and observe him. He was dedicated to Xana, she realized. And he was deeply disturbed by the events he was laying out.

He also had no clue why he was here.

Amaryllis took him a few blocks into her one of her favorite joints, and given the time, they were able to walk upstairs and get a table in the back. After they ordered a frozen hot chocolate and a foot long hot dog, Amaryllis gave a bemused smile. “Do you know who I am?” she asked.

“You’re a singer,” John answered. “I know who you are. I have your music at home.”

Amaryllis smiled at that. “Yes but do you know who I used to be?” When John shook his head she took a sip of her frozen hot chocolate and said while tossing back her long black hair in a move reminiscent of her long deceased mother, “Long time ago I was Captain Amaryllis Nixa-Layne of the USS SUTTNER. The ship may no longer serve, and I may do other things, but I think the reason why Aunt Xana asked you to see me is that I do have the ear to another Captain of another ship.” Holding out her hand she commanded as firmly as any Captain of the Fleet, “Give me the other chip and go get whoever else you need to. I’ll take it from here.”

=/\=

Scene: Coney Island, New York

Thankfully John’s next stop was close. He wasn’t sure if that was intentional or an act of providence. Either way he was grateful.

“Come one, come all!” a vendor yelled. “Get your peanuts! Get your popcorn!”

John was looking around as he stood on the boardwalk. He felt like a sore thumb sticking out in his suit as everyone else walked around in bathing suits, or shorts and t-shirts while games, rides and music blared on in a cacophony to his senses. Well at least the person he was looking for would also be impeccably dressed…

“Two cotton candies,” came a soft Slavic voice from next to him. “What do you think, John? A pink and green? Actually now that I think about it, shouldn’t we go with blue?”

John’s head whipped around. He hadn’t heard him come and now here he was…in red board shorts and a t-shirt that said “I’m happy because I have no idea what’s going on” and flip-flops. At least he was still wearing his sunglasses, otherwise John Hiram would not have recognized Tomas’ Vukovic; a man who previously only wore black suits with silver buttons and white starch shirts.

When John said nothing, Tomas’ smiled a bit to himself and said to the vendor, “The blue ones will be fine.” Taking one blue cotton candy for himself and handing one to John, Vukovic walked down the boardwalk whistling to himself. Finally finding a bench that suited him, he sat down looking out onto the Atlantic Ocean. “Eat your cotton candy, John,” Tomas’ chided the man.

“I suddenly feel 16 again. Wait no, you never told me to eat cotton candy,” John muttered. Looking around at the amusement park behind them he asked, “Did I go on the roller coaster and no one told me?”

“You’ve been working for her for years now. And yet this is the first time you’ve contacted me,” Vukovic said. “While I am not upset about this, quite the opposite, I have to assume it’s not to reminisce.”

John shook his head. “She has problems. She needs help.”

Vukovic looked over. It may have been 2200 but the sunglasses were his signature and so when he looked over John saw his own reflection. “There will always be problems; always those who would hurt her.”

“They came for…” John looked around. “She’s alone now. Her husband is MIA--”

“He was ‘Fleet, it happens. It’s a sad thing but this is to be expected,” Tomas’ counseled.

“On the same day her children were taken?” John whispered. “Tell me that just happens?”

Tomas’ said nothing but looked back at the ocean, eating his cotton candy. “Why me?”

John sighed, rubbing his brow. Realizing he got cotton candy now in his eyebrows he made a disgruntled noise. “I’m making it worse. I’m trying, Tomas’, I am. But I’m making it worse. She hasn’t said anything but I know I am. I escalated things when I shouldn’t have and now her kids at the center.”

Tomas’ gave a humorless chuckle. “Trust me, she can escalate things just fine. She doesn’t need you for that.” He continued to eat the cotton candy before asking, “You didn’t answer my question.”

The most recent Chief of Staff frowned before saying, “Because I think we need you. Because I can’t do the things you can. Because...because she asked for you, and she hasn’t for years.”

There was a long pause while Vukovic considered the ocean.

“She said to remind you that you made a promise. To Dahlia if nothing else, although she did want me to say that Dahlia won’t go anywhere without her brother.”

“I know what I promised,” Vukovic replied more harshly than he intended. John Hiram may not be a teenager in need of tutelage, but damn it if this didn’t feel like one of those after school sessions where Tomas’ had to guide the young man again.. Muttering something under his breath he held out his hand, “Give it to me.” While this was not necessary for Tomas’, the ritual of handing over the information would be necessary for John, so Vukovic went with it. “I’m not making any more promises,” the Slav warned.

“I figured,” John said.

“Don’t promise her anything, she’ll hold you to it for the rest of your days,” Tomas’ muttered as he finished off his cotton candy.

“Would you have sat this out even if she hadn’t reminded you of the promise?” John asked. When Tomas’ said nothing, John smiled and ate his cotton candy for the first time that night.

=/\=

Location: THE HARLEY

Scene: Corridor -> Xana’s Room

Play this out, play the good woman, let the kidnappers see what they want to, Xana reasoned to herself. So she very publicly boarded a ship to RISA. And to be on the safe side, she walked the corridors.

So she walked with Angus, roamed the corridors past other people who looked *happy* to be on the ship. Xana said nothing but kept walking, trying to focus on Angus, what he needed. She deliberately kept trying to shove out thoughts, anyway ward thoughts.

She roamed for hours, a living ghost on THE HARLEY. The only thing that stopped her from continuing was Angus yawning and his slowing steps. “Mi dispace,” she murmured to her dog, rubbing his ear.

Walking back to her room, she heard something…

Laughter; children’s laughter. Floating high on the air, musically pulling her out of her self-imposed prison.

Running towards it she pushed aside the other passengers, with Angus trying to keep up, Xana went running as if her life depended upon it.

She went crashing past the dancing room, past the buffet, past the passengers sunning themselves in the artificial sunroom, running towards the laughter she heard floating in the air just out of her reach. She went running as surely as a drowning woman grasps for the preserver just beyond her fingertips.

Finally she found the source of her torment -- it was the kids’ playroom. There was an entire room of children here, to be entertained as their parents enjoyed adult entertainment. And now an entire room full of children stopped laughing to stare at the mad woman who stood in their doorway.

Xana scanned the room but in her heart she knew her children weren’t here. Still she stared hungrily, desperate to find them.

“Ma’am? Are you looking--” one of the aides asked.

“No,” she replied hurried, an emotional mudslide threatening to take her under. Backing out of the room she walked away from the room and back down the hall, down the stairs to her room. Letting herself in, she allowed the doors to close behind her and Angus, before sliding down to the floor.

She waited...she waited for some blissful memory to take her away from her awful reality that her life had become. From some memory of her past that she hadn’t appreciated but was hidden there as a gem to transport her to a distant world where there was only happiness and light.

But it didn’t come.

Reality slapped her in the face, and it slapped her hard.

She had lost her children; her vanity, ego and yes dedication to climb up the ladder of success had put her children at risk and she hadn’t done enough to put them safely away. They were her loves and now they were gone. Nothing she could ever do now would ever make up for that; and she couldn’t even apologize to their fathers. One was dead in the ground on BAJOR and the other was MIA presumed KIA.


She lost her husband, she had begged for him to come home and he was gone. He had asked her to keep their children safe and she couldn't even explain to him what happened. She couldn't even find him to tell him anything. Then again even if she did, she didn't know what she'd say except at least she'd know he was alive.


Except he was probably dead too.

Retching but with nothing coming out, the Bolian/Human went face first into the carpet, heaving out incoherent anguished cries of mourning and desperation. She was on a fool's quest to RISA, knowing in the back of her mind that the rate of successful returns for kidnapped victims were small.

Her children were gone. Nothing could ever undo that. All she had ever wanted was to be a good mother and clearly she was never that if she couldn’t keep her children safe.

She shifted on the floor and found something jabbing her leg. Swallowing large gulps of air and snot that was running down her face, Xana felt around in the dimly lit room until she found the phaser she had strapped to her leg earlier that day.

Holding it up in the moonlight that streamed into her room she stared long and hard at it…

=/\=

NRPG: Thank you for being patient and waiting for me to write this. As a testament to your patience I really tried to nod to a lot of characters. I wanted to have Xana avoid the truth for so long, and really dive into her past with her kids and Jake, hence why I did this with the flashbacks.

Chris: I left out anything with Montoya/Seth - not sure how you want to rope them in. And hope you liked the nod to Alek in the first post!

Shawn: Hope Jake’s reaction in the middle was what you had in mind. Also, I borrowed from one of your earlier works - hope that was ok!

Kenneth: I couldn’t resist bringing out John’s predecessor -- hope you don’t mind!

Tim: I decided as a way of explaining why John would go to Amaryllis I would use the part of our JP that we started and never finished as part of backstory. Hope that was ok. Obviously, yes, Amaryllis will be calling the PANDORA.

Susan: Amaryllis, Tim’s daughter, will be calling about Xana’s kids - that should get the ship going ;)

Jerome: Hope you don’t mind me expanding on Edgerton’s mischievousness ;)

Taylor: Xana’s mostly complied - but to be fair he did leave a threatening note in her office. Of course other people would notice!

Jamie: Hope that fits in with what we talked about with Bomba!

=/\=

Sarah Albertini-Bond

as

Xana Bonviva

Secretary of Starfleet (on leave)


with a nod from the past from:

Shawn Putnam

a.k.a.

Jake Crichton, Commander

Chief Engineering Officer

USS DISCOVERY